(Article provided by IU Health Promotion)
We all have days when our thoughts get a little harsh—when we catch our reflection and think, “Ugh, I look awful,” or when we skip a workout and immediately decide we’ve “fallen off track” and might as well just quit. These moments are completely normal! They often come from something called cognitive distortions.
Learning to spot and challenge these patterns is a powerful act of self-care. Here’s how to understand your thoughts, reframe them, and start speaking to yourself with compassion.
What are cognitive distortions?
Cognitive distortions are mental filters—automatic thought patterns that twist how we see ourselves or situations. Under stress, they can make small setbacks feel like disasters or convince us we’re not “good enough.”
Here are a few common ones:
| Distortion | What it sounds like | What it is |
| All-or-nothing thinking | “If I eat desert today, I’ve failed at healthy eating.” | Actions are seen as black and white, good or bad, all or nothing—you can’t meet in the middle or compromise |
| Overgeneralization | “That date was awful. I should just give up on dating entirely.” | Having one bad experience, and assuming all future experiences will be the same |
| Shoulding | “I am overwhelmed and exhausted trying to do everything—but I should be able to without asking for help.” | Getting stuck in what you think should happen or you should be able to do rather than acting on what is happening and you are able to do |
| Labeling | “I was going to work out today but I fell asleep instead. I’m so lazy.” | Reducing yourself or someone else to a single characteristic |
| Catastrophizing | “I’m struggling with this class. I’m going to fail out of college.” | Assuming the worst thing will happen |
| Mind reading | “My friend offered to go to the gym with me. I bet she thinks I’m fat.” | Believing you know what other people are thinking or feeling, or they know the same thing about you. |
| Personalizing | “My friend said she doesn’t like pink. I wear pink. She must think my clothes are awful.” | Assuming that other people’s thoughts and actions are at least partially your responsibility or about you. |
Recognizing these distortions is the first step toward reclaiming your confidence and peace of mind.
Reframing: shifting your perspective
Reframing means catching distorted thoughts and giving them a reality check. You’re not trying to lie to yourself—just to find a more balanced perspective.
Example:
“I look terrible in every photo.”
→ Identify the distortion: That’s all-or-nothing thinking. It’s okay if you can’t name it—sometimes it’s just something that doesn’t sound right!
→ Check the evidence: “Actually, I liked how I looked in that picture from last week.”
→ Reframe it: “Some photos aren’t my favorite, but that doesn’t mean I look bad overall.”
More examples:
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“I skipped the gym—I’m so lazy.”
→ “I needed rest today. I can move my body tomorrow.”
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“Everyone else is so confident.”
→ “People show their best sides publicly. Everyone has insecurities sometimes.”
Positive self-talk: becoming your own ally
Self-talk is that little voice that narrates your life. Positive self-talk doesn’t mean pretending that everything is wonderful all the time – sometimes, it means admitting that you are upset, or that something is difficult. While negative self-talk makes you feel stuck, positive self-talk is like talking to a friend.
| Negative thought | Reframed/compassionate self-talk |
| “I hate my body.” | “My body lets me live, move, and experience life.” |
| “I’ll never feel confident.” | “Confidence takes practice. I’m learning every day.” |
| “I shouldn’t have eaten that.” | “Food nourishes me. One meal doesn’t define my health.” |
| “I’m so awkward.” | “It’s okay to feel nervous and make mistakes. I’m still learning, just like everyone else.” |
Why it matters for college students
College can be a whirlwind. New friends, new routines, and new pressures about appearance and achievement can feel overwhelming. Your inner dialogue shapes how you experience it all.
When you practice reframing and positive self-talk, you’re not just easing anxiety—you’re strengthening self-trust, self-esteem, and resilience. You begin to see yourself as more than a reflection or a grade. That’s the foundation of true self-care.
Need support?
If you’re finding it hard to shift your thoughts alone, that’s okay—support helps.
Counseling and Psychological Services (CAPS) at Indiana University offers free sessions for full-time students.
Call 812-855-5711 or make an appointment at healthcenter.indiana.edu/counseling.
Would you like to talk to a dietitian? You can make an appointment for free at https://healthcenter.indiana.edu/medical/nutrition/index.html—or just check out the online resources!
Want someone to talk with your student organization about body image, stress, or self-care?
Request a Health Promotion presenter here: studentlife.indiana.edu/health-promotion.
Remember: You don’t have to love everything about yourself to treat yourself with kindness. Small shifts in your inner voice can change the way you see your whole self. You are worth it!
